Three Meetings, Three Roles
Today, aside from being a mom, I played three roles: Ma’m, Mrs. and me.
Early morning breakfast at McDo, as Ma’m — I met Ade (not her real name), our ever-loyal, hardworking and longest running assistant (a. k. a. “super alalay”). I have known her for almost 20 years now. We first met when she was a senior student at UE and was assigned to be my student-trainee. After graduation, she came in time for work as office assistant to handle my first post-retirement job (as independent manager for Sara Lee). Later, I stood as a witness to her wedding nine years ago (though I advised her to rethink her decision even when we were already in the City Hall’s courtroom). She became the breadwinner in her family, as expected.
When we met, she confided about wanting to leave the country for economic reasons – for the sake of her only son’s future, even willing to find a new partner and to ask her husband to set her free. What advice did I give her: stick with your husband for better or for worst? make sure to hook a good, old, rich man? make up your mind? think again and let’s talk it over?
Mid-morning at a dental clinic, as Mrs./”older” mom – I met Dra. Marissa (not her real name), the dentist for HMI at our area. This was a long overdue dental visit because Aon’s school work made interruptions impossible. What we expected as a 15-minute routine dental cleaning turned out to be two hours of multiple dental fills, a tooth X-ray and a surgery for a fully decayed molar. Dental treatment for Aon ended at 12 noon, so, I thought the dentist will take a lunch break before she attends to me but she didn’t..
It seemed like a working luncheon meeting for me because while on the dental chair, the lady dentist took her time to share with me her challenges as a single mom to her 7-year old son whom she called her “living diamond.” Her concern was: choosing a good school for boys which is not too far from her place, tuition fee not too high, and low incidence of bullying and minimal exposure to gays. Her choices: Ateneo, La Salle, UP, or Claret. She voiced her views about this schools. I told her mines based on our family’s preferences and biases, my husband, son and I having been students of these schools for different courses and at different times in the past. I know the criteria for choosing a good school depending on the student’s capacity and learning style and other variables, but am I competent enough to influence our dentist in making her choice? I wish I could help her.
Late lunch at TOSH, as a classmate and old friend – My third “meeting”. Upon entering the restaurant, I saw a familiar face, a friendly smile, a nod and hand gesture of recognition. Yes, despite the passing of time (over 25 years), we remember people who have touched our lives in a special way. I was sure who he was – Romy Nones (this time, name for real), one of my favorite and best group study mates at DLSU Business School in the early 1980s, a soft-spoken engineer from UP who charmed ladies in class with his boyish charm, good nature and intelligence (but who got married earlier than most of us). I felt happy when we met face-to-face in the rest room corridor of TOSH and were instantly able to call each other correctly by our first names. Romy was with his brods planning for frat activities for the forthcoming UP Centennial in 2008. I took the chance to introduce Romy to my family and what a small world: his daughter Monica and my son Aon are friends at Ateneo.
We exchanged cell numbers. Unexpectedly, I’ve barely reached home when I got his text: Alice, I was really happy to see you after such a long time. Kudos to you for having a nice family. And a follow on text: I know we will see each other again soon… (after we exchanged emails).
My three meetings today filled me up: no, not with dental filling nor McDo’s pancakes nor TOSH’s pasta negra and cheesy pizza. I felt full knowing that – even if I haven’t reached my planned destination as scheduled, there is hope that my new journey will bring me to better paths where I may still fulfill my life’s purpose. Today’s three meetings have given me the assurance that I CAN be a more than a mom.