A Mom and More

It’s been 3 years since I parted with my red friend 144, a millenium edition Isuzu Fuego, who would have been with me as I start my new journey if only my financial plans materialized. It was one of the best presents I got for a birthday. I/we worked hard to have it and to keep it in tip top shape. It was my mobile filing cabinet, traveling closet, giant picnic bag, kids camper, pet carrier, rolling store and good friend.

I miss the comfort, convenience and cost effectiveness I had with my Fuego. Now, I have to walk under the heat of the sun or the pouring rain, queue for a public ride, find my way to hire a taxi and squeeze myself into the jampacked light rail trains. Now, I have to be carrying an extra shopping bag to contain changeover clothes, shoes and accessories (if I have to attend a formal meeting after I’m done with window shopping); provisions to make use of waiting time efficiently (as a diary, a book, files to sort, greeting cards, a calculator); my water jug and an apple (to prevent myself from sweet temptations); an umbrella (as UV screen) and a camera (for Kodak moments).

I miss the unplanned, spontaneous and surprise trips I can make all by myself (to pass by a mall sale, find a meditation spot, have a surprise lunch with family/friends, go to the salon or just lazily drive around and sight-see) and with my kids (to try a new snack bar, to attend their school affair even if I’m the only mom present, to bring our dog Ashley for a walk in the park). Now, we have very limited places to see and have to schedule even short trips.

I miss the entrepreneurial tries in starting and pursuing small businesses of trading almost anything under the sun which I used to be able to do with my Fuego around. I can load the pick-up with a variety of goods all in one time without having to worry about getting it soiled, giving it a scent or odor or washing off spilled liquids. I used to load it with perfumes, make-up, clothes, shoes, e-cards, tocino, longganisa, flowers, plants, oil , water, tissue, soap and books and more — to deliver to clients. Now, I would have to shun away from bulky, heavy, smelly and watery goods; else, hire a delivery van or courier service or bear the weight and trouble of carrying merchandise to sell. And so, I have had to repackage my entrepreneurial interest from merchandise to services and to even learn new skills to make myself still useful and marketable.

I miss my Fuego for providing me a space all mines to be in. It has been my own small planet when I wanted to laugh at silly things I did, to cry my heart out over flopped plans and frustrations and to celebrate secret personal triumphs no one will have ever recognized existed. It has been a dear red pal — always with me through my past ups and downs.

I have moved on with life after I sadly gave it away 3 years ago. I have realized that it is part of a bittersweet past I should be thankful for the happy days and mindful of lessons learned. I have walked different paths since then also. I (almost) forgot my red Fuego until this morning…

… when I had to humbly request for a ride to pick up just ten boxes of floor tiles for a project, to rush myself in choosing the right tile design and color and to feel guilty that I have soiled and overloaded the only car my husband uses: a Honda CRV.

Missing my Fuego makes me resolve to work smarter so I can afford another versatile vehicle to ride on as I move forwards my new journey at 50.