A Mom and More

Forty  years ago, around this time, when my youngest sister Arlene was about 4 years old –  she had very high fever, stomach pains and vomiting, felt generally ill,  and experienced pain in her legs which caused her to limp.  After lab tests, our doctor-uncle confirmed polio (infantile paralysis) and asked that my other sister and I get out of contact with Arlene for the next 2 weeks  to prevent contamination.  Though we resisted being sent to our paternal grandmother temporarily as we were never accustomed to sleeping in other’s home, we were forced by circumstances and we had to obey our parents.

As we left home, my mom reminded us to pray for  Arlene to  get well soon so that we could go back home.  We were not told that she had polio though. While all by herself at home, Arlene found a new playmate  – a 6-inch porcelain statue of the Infant Jesus of Prague which was in our home’s altar.  She talked with the statue as if it were alive.  And, mom heard her saying: “ sana pagalingin mo na ako agad para makapaglaro na ulit ako tulad ng ibang bata” (I hope you can make me well so that I can play as the other children do, very soon). 

On February 2, 1967, God gave us a miracle – Arlene walked without her limp to the surprise of her doctor.  She underwent a series of medical tests and was found absolutely cleared of the virus.  We were called back home and only then did we learn about her polio case and miraculous recovery.   With her childish simplicity in asking for healing, and full trust and confidence in her Godly playmate, her prayers were answered.  God must have destined Arlene to be up and about (not limping with a disability) to be everyone’s kind, loving and benevolent godmother – sharing as much as she has with her loved ones and also  with her lowly workers, lonely friends, the sick, the needy and even tribes from far-flung Palawan  (who are just beginning to know Christ).  While she has not been blessed with a child of her own, she has a lot of children receiving her care, understanding and benevolence – as a true godmother creates magic and makes everyday miracles happen by being around when she is needed most.

I didn’t’ just remember Arlene’s story and the miracle of the Divine child to another child when I heard the homily about the feast of the Sto. Nino this morning,   As a mom trying to do all, please all, and be all  – I have also been reminded to regress, to relearn,  and to be as a child again.  I have to practice surrendering all things to God’s will than endlessly plan and work to death to realize my life purpose and dreams.  I wish I could be a childlike mom.

To start 2008, let me share with you my turning 50 prayer last 9 November 2007, my same prayer today as another year begins anew.

Lord, thank you -

For your gift of life and love for the past 50 years;

For my beautiful and loving family who made my happy moments brighter, more meaningful, and more colorful and my tough times lighter, more bearable and hopeful;

For real friends you’ve strewn along my way who’ve been by my side come what may;

For the rewarding career I had with the government and the chance to do business on my own;

For enabling me to see the magnificence of your creation in our country and abroad;

For blessing me with good health, an unwavering faith and the strength to carry on – knowing that the best is yet to come in Your time.

Lord, forgive me for my failings and foibles and
Continue to give me the inspiration to move on, learn from my blunders and falls, re-purpose myself and start over.

(As I turn 50 and see life’s sunset and sunrise in a single frame)

Lord, help me -

Age positively, gracefully and meaningfully; and

Accept that the wrinkles, sags, white hairs and achy joints are not defects but reminders that I have struggled, survived, learned, grown and persisted in life through this day.

Help me surrender some plans and dreams which are not aligned to Your will;

Help me be more creative as I use my experience and talents in touching others lives, courageous as I face new challenges and compassionate as I try to understand others beyond their spoken words.

Let me live for meaning, for a higher purpose beyond money, status and others’ applause as I thrive through life’s surprises and adversities with the softness and strength which only You can give me in my journey towards being the Alice you meant me to be. Amen.

I hope that the Lord grants me my prayer requests and that this first blog entry for 2008 paves my way in writing more meaningful mom blogs to share with you soon.

May you and your loved ones be blessed with faith that makes all things possible, hope that makes all things work, and love which makes all things beautiful — today and through the coming days of 2008!

Like a virgin, I waited patiently across the UP (University of the Philippines) Palma Hall, in the heat of the noontime sun, with open eyes and mind, my stomach grumbling after missing breakfast – definitely NOT to see naked men parade in front of me (I’ve seen enough) but to experience the 2007 UP Oblation Run to spice up my lessons on the Philippine Educational System (and have authentic inputs in class when we meet next week). I also had other reasons: at 50 (no longer the demure economics student I was in the mid 70s when the Oblation Run began), I wanted to make sure I experienced a complete student life. As mom, I wanted to be with my daughter and seize the occasion to bond with her (but she decided to stay in her class. I was curious to know the issues which UP students find relevant and worthy of their oblation – to see if they can serve as the hope of our nation.

In the midst of UP students (though I pass as one of them because of my petite frame), I felt OP (out of place) waiting for the naked Alpha Phi Omega men’s final bow at the Palma steps since most students apparently just came to see the spectacle as if waiting for: a movie star or a band singer to perform live or for a stripper to titillate one’s sexual desires or for some biology specimen to view, size-up and draw conclusions from. I was waiting to find meaning in this annual UP tradition for the past 30 years.

It was around quarter past twelve when nude, masked men came out of Palma Hall with balloons, flowers and streamers that called for the ouster of President Arroyo, justice for UP students Karen and She and the grant of tuition subsidies for UP students. I wonder why the students covered their heads and wore masks. As these men raised their streamers of dissent, I was expecting to hear shouts of student protests and criticisms and calls for action as I have experience during my student days in some mass rallies. But, I only heard whistles, then “boos” and then hollers (for not seeing much, for the very brief skin exposure time). I do not find photos worth sharing here a lot can be viewed at YouTube if you wish.

I was frustrated at what I saw, heard and experienced such that soon after, I felt thirsty, hungry, exhausted and sunburned. The more I felt OP. I felt old as well, realizing that I do not belong to this generation anymore.

Just like thousands of UP Alumni, I still value the Oblation as the main symbol of what the University of the Philippines stands for, fights for and delivers to the nation; the chosen rallying point for protests and social action; the enduring model of academic freedom, an inspiration for service and nationalism; my lifetime link to UP.

However, the 2007 Oblation Run I witnessed was just a show of bold and daring, nude men with flowers, balloons and streamers – not far from commercial TV identification plugs or intermissions to a long play. I did not see their bravery in standing up for their causes; they were speed walking, almost running, ashamed of their nakedness.

Perhaps, (I hope) the UP students I expected to see In the oblation run were just busy attending their classes, researching in the library, hearing mass or simply taking lunch. Perhaps, I have just been too engrossed with my class reading on Philippine education during the revolutionary times that I have been searching as Rizal when he said:

Where are the youth who will consecrate their golden hours, their illusions and their enthusiasm to the welfare of their native land? … who will generously pour out their blood to wash away so much shame, so much crime, so much abomination? … Pure and spotless … who will embody in yourselves the vigor of life that has left our veins, the purity of ideas that has contaminated in our brains, the fire of enthusiasm that has been quenched in our hearts? …

Perhaps, I am just a mom who expects so much. How about you, do you still see the relevance of this tradition as it was meant to be during its inception years back? Isn’t it time to rethink and plan for a more meaningful oblation befitting of the times?

This afternoon, I planned to do my research on the Philippine educational system during the revolutionary times, 1896 to 1899, for a group presentation next week.  But, instead of researching, I was drawn to watch on TV — the live telecast of the encampment

 of Senator Trillanes, General Lim and comrades at the Manila Peninsula Hotel after they walked out of the Makati Regional Trial Court earlier. After several sessions with Prof. Buhay Alonzo in a course on Philippine Educational System, I’ve been conditioned to watch out for learning opportunities from day-to-day experiences, from personal interactions, and from various media.

Though I am never really interested about developments in the political field, I watched this afternoon’s telecast hoping to learn something worthwhile.  I entertained the notion that perhaps I’d see a glimpse of a modern day Andres Bonifacio, a  contemporary Philippine revolution of sorts.

But here’s what I witnessed on TV:

1.      Trillanes:  an idealistic youngish military man and senator who may want reforms but has limited experience, poor tactics, limited knowledge and followers to stand by him.  

2.      Media arrests: obviously a violation of press freedom, a shameful picture to show to the world about the kind of democracy that the Philippines practices.

3.      Curfew declaration: an uncalled for move by the government; another unconstitutional curtailment of people’s rights.

Was this rebellion planned to coincide with tomorrow’s National  Heroes (Bonifacio Day) Day commemoration — for impact?

Yes, it has been over a hundred years ago when Andres Bonifacio, a poor  and uneducated man, the “Father of the Philippine Revolution”, led the Filipinos’ fight for freedom and justice and won it, ending over three-and-a-half centuries of Spanish domination.  Today, it seems another people’s revolution needs to be staged again to check our society’s ills and bring us on the road to progress. 

A passage from Bonifacio’s essay on “What the Filipinos Should Know,” (translated from his work in Tagalog) written during the Philippine Revolutionary times  could serve as a food for thought, nudge for us to think about what we could do for our country:

Reason tells us that we cannot expect anything but more sufferings, more treachery, more insults, and more slavery. Reason tells us not to fritter away time for the promised prosperity that will never come….Reason teaches us to rely on ourselves and not to depend on others for our living. Reason tells us to be united…that we may have the strength to combat the evils in our country.

Tonight, I may have lagged behind my research target but at least I’ve seen in real time how a present day Pinoy revolution starts and ends; I’ve learned how and why it fails; I’ve seen Philippine history unfold.   I felt frustrated about the waste of time, resources and people’s efforts which I have seen.  I felt irked at the government’s reactions to the incident – everything was overkill.  I felt cynical about seeing the Philippines rise from its current economic challenges soon.  (Enough of emoting, it’s time to end this post and go back to my research.

As our country experiences a crisis, can we pinpoint from among our Filipino personalities aspiring to be modern leaders – someone who can be as brave, strong and true to the cause of the Filipino masses as Bonifacio who had none of these prerequisites for most politicians nowadays: a prominent family heritage, well-funded bank accounts, viable businesses, education in foreign universities, media endorsements, and a network of influential people?

Are we back to Bonifacio’s revolutionary times, but with a different enemy to conquer? Can we expect a new Katipunan in the making? Who is our Bonifacio this time? What can we  do , as moms, to be revolutionaries of our own time, in our own homes, for the country?

My 50 symbolic and real gifts

It made me feel young once more as a child by the Christmas tree: awed by the size of the gift box and eager to know what could be inside it for me. When I opened the box, I was amazed that it contained not just one but 50 individual gifts – each one significant because each brought with it either a golden message of care and concern, affirmation, food for thought, laughter or extra joy to last beyond my birthday. Most gifts were useful but ordinary items – made extraordinary on my 50^th because each red gift has been sought and thought of painstakingly by my siblings and the kids for this special day. Here are the red, red gifts I got and the messages tagged on them, which everyone present took turns to hand over to me with a kiss.

1. Hugo perfume – for everlasting aroma
2. hat – “panlaban sa lamig” (to relieve the cold)
3. bag – You complete me
4. sunglasses – to keep you cool in the sun!
5. hanky – to wipe away tears and “kulangot”
6. scarf – accessorize more
7. jewelry – for more sparkle to your beauty
8. wallet – to keep safe all your life’s wealth
9. umbrella – to keep you cool and flawless
10. shirt – forever looking 16!
11. belt – to tighten your bond with family and friends
12. panty – for the truly beautiful inside and outside
13. pedometer – to help you lose fat and keep you young all the way
14. socks – to cover your tired-out travel-lust feet
15. comb – to further enhance your natural beauty
16. keychain – to keep things within easy reach
17. ball – to remind you that it’s fun being forever young
18. alarm clock – to help you wake up to a new happy day
19. pillbox – for Alice’s “sakits” (illnesses)
20. towel – to freshen you up after the day’s work
21. stapler – to keep things always in place
22. paper clips – to hold on to your upbringings
23. tape measure – to measure your “panindas” (merchandise) and waistline
24. tape – to keep all your things tight and bonded
25. bag tag – to let everyone know who you are
26. magnet – for your magnetic personality
27. ballpen – to bring luck to your ambitious to-do lists
28. paint and crayons –to color our lives and your world with vibrance, as you like it
29. notebook – to scribble your utmost reflections with
30. folder – to compile your thoughts with, enclosing what matters most
31. thumbtacks – to tack things in place
32. paper – to write your precious ideas and memories on
33. clip file – to take your work with you everywhere
34. pillow – for sweet dreams
35. photo frame – to display memories you cherish the most
36. ribbon – for stylish decorations
37. flashlight and candle – to lighten up those dark, gloomy days
38. thread – to help you weave wonderful thoughts with
39. toothpaste and toothbrush – for that pretty Close-up smile
40. padlock – to keep safe
41. soap – to remind you of maintaining a clean heart and mind
42. lip balm – for more kissable lips
43. nail polish – for your fiery red professional nails
44. mirror – to show the world who you really are
45. eyemask – for more beauty
46. red glass – half empty, half full; plate – “para sa mahilig kumain” (for the food lover); spoon and fork – “dahil hindi ka marunong magkamay” (since you don’t know how to eat without utensils)
47. mug – to keep your teas and talks warm and cozy
48. hanger – to keep your special clothes special slippers – for that nice, comfy feeling
49. slippers – for that nice, comfy feeling
50. trash bin – to keep your surroundings neat and clean

When gift giving was over, I saw a tag which said: “rosary – to hold on to the faith that will save you”. I didn’t find any rosary attached to the tag. My youngest sister Arlene even helped look for it. I believed it (the rosary) was meant to be lost, to be invisible, and to be apart from all the physical gifts I got. And, this reminded me to be truly grateful for the real blessings and blessings in disguises I have received over the past 50 years: love, hope and joy; time, care and concern of family and friends; and failures turned into life lessons and stepping stones – the essentials which are invisible to the eye.

To my loving family: Ariel, Aaron and Aleli, my mom Adorita; my siblings Annie, Arlene and Arthur and their spouses Gigi, Abe and Maripol; my niece Kashka and nephews Lean, Nigo, Luigi and Driggs ; and to true friends and their families who remembered: Fr. Emy, Jun, Edna, Erwin, Romy, Lily, Agie and classmates at UP – my heartfelt thanks for the love, the prayers, encouragement and trust that I would continue glowing beyond 50. I love you all!