I was sweet sixteen (but looking like Miss Tapia in thick round glasses) in 1974 when I first had a taste of UP’s nourishment for the mind, body and soul.  Passing the UPCAT meant:  breathing in fresh air as I gained a bit of independence from my parents;  liberating myself from my strict Catholic education at St. Bridget’s School and the University of Sto. Tomas High School; and embracing a whole new world of learning, of living and even, of loving.

Looking back at my college days gives me vivid memories of taking part in the tail-end days of student activism through associations with members of the Consultative Committee on Student Affairs (or CONCOMSA, a quasi-UP student council then) and the Philippine Collegian (even if I never really wrote any article for the school organ.)  Though I was just a freshman, I was lucky to have found my way in the company of some senior, socially conscious and involved students, to name a few: Diwa Gunigundo, Fermin Adriano, Tina Pargas, Etta Rosales, Lorna Paras and Zosimo Lee.  Small cell group meetings/teach-ins  taught me about the true stories behind Philippine history: American colonialism,  Filipino dissent, and the need for counter-consciousness — starting with myself.  My participation in prayer rallies made me realize the essence of prayer and unity in an era of greed, suppression and violence – giving life to the Christian values I learned in my past schools.

As a member of the UP Student Catholic Action (UPSCA), I rendered community service at Constitution Hills (now the area where the Commission of Audit is sited) and this opened my eyes to the stark poverty of people in the slums.  I still remember helping the residents of Constitution Hills gather PLDT yellow pages, newspapers and used computer paper, recycle these into bags with a little gawgaw (starch) and sell these as supot (bag) for tinapa (dried fish) in the nearby markets to buy a day’s meal.  Passing through a military check post at the entrance of the area was a breeze since I did not look like an activist as other UP community organizers have been– I appeared innocent as a petite, “totay” (young girl) student in hot pants and Happy Feet bakya (wooden clogs).  Though I liked serving the community, my involvement took a sudden halt for security reasons. God must have had other plans for me because He prevented me from going to the community at a time when all community organizers where either picked up, detained, placed under surveillance or house arrest.   A severe tooth ache which made a dental visit urgent shielded me from trouble.

UP kept alive in me — a passion to help, serve and heal others.  After the Constitution Hill incident, I thought I about pursuing my high school ambition of becoming a doctor so I could help others in a different field while ensuring that my siblings get their college education as well.  On my third year, I decided to shift from Business Administration and Accountancy (a 5-year course) to Business Economics (a 4-year course which I was able to finish in 3 1/2 years) so that I could work immediately, earn enough to send my siblings to school and eventually, go to Med School as I dreamt.  I never became a doctor because life got me elsewhere; I became a hardworking, honest and competent public servant in a public utility corporation through my early retirement.

UP did not just feed my mind with ideas and my soul with morals, UP also introduced me to love.  UP charged a UP SEMen (Society of Emancipated Men) and fellow EcoSocer (UP Economics Society) to become a silent partner as I prepared my undergrad thesis and eight years later, my chosen partner for life and father to Aaron and Aleli.

But, this is not the end of my UP story.  When I was about to turn 50, my thoughts about starting on a new journey, continuing to be of service to others and living a life of significance – made me go back to UP.  In 2007, after over 30 years away from UP, I enrolled in a certificate course in professional education and surprised almost everyone I met when I told them that my student number was unmistakably 74-03860 and that I’d like to study again.  Learning and studying with classmates even younger than my own  children renewed my zest for life: hopeful of things to come; eager for lifelong learning; and striped of shoulds, biases, hostilities and fears – ultimately giving birth to a better me, the daughter of a centenarian who would surely last for centuries more in its pursuit of service and excellence.

Today, in lieu of a happy birthday song, here’s to UP on her 100th year, a timeless song
of the love, lasting bond, and loyalty that her sons, daughters and grandchildren will always have for her:

U.P. beloved, thou Alma Mater dear
For thee united, our joyful voices hear
Far tho we wander, o’er island yonder
Loyal thy sons we’ll ever be
Loyal thy sons we’ll ever be.
Echo the watchword, the Red and Green forever.
Give out the password, to the Hall of Brave sons rare.
Sing forth the message, ring out with courage
All hail, thou hope of our dear land,
All hail, thou hope of our dear land.

or the more popular: U.P. Naming Mahal:

U.P. naming mahal, pamantasang hirang
Ang tinig namin, sana’y inyong dinggin
Malayong lupain, amin mang marating
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin.
Luntian at pula, Sagisag magpakailanman
Ating pagdiwang,  bulwagan ng dangal
Humayo’t itanghal, giting at tapang
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan.

Do you also feel that UP is part of what you are today?  What is your UP story?

If you missed out some updates of the UP Centennial, here are some sites which may keep you on board.  Let’s celebrate UP @ 100!

History of UP: http://www.slideshare.net/radiantview/2008-up-centennial-celebration-philippines
Official site of UP Centennial 1908-2008:  http://centennial.up.edu.ph/?page_id=29
UP Alumni News and activities:  http://www.upalumni.ph/index.html

But, I spent the day meaningfully taking first steps to liberate myself from: home clutter, inertia to write, and life traps.

1.    I’ve began to de-clutter and clean-up.  Since it would surely take me months to sort, decide to throw or retain, and organize important stuff I’ve accumulated for the past five decades – for time management, I set aside just half of the day for a start.  I targeted three boxes (blocking the door of our stock room) which contained photocopied references, handouts, loose notes, and term papers from education courses I took the past year.  I sorted through reams of paper, rushing myself to decide which to: toss in the trash, give-away to a friend, bind for future use or temporarily keep out of sight (in a “may use” box).  With a day helper’s assistance in punching holes and binding related papers together, I was content to have six binders of neatly organized materials from my six education courses by lunch time.

2.    I’ve managed to write this blog after some time of slack, anxiety, too much ideas, and pending workloads – causing a writer’s block.  I have drafted several blogs which I never posted at all because of my notion that I should write error-free, grammatically acceptable and information-laden blogs which are just 300- to 500-words long, as most blog writers recommend.  This is a reflection of my self-conscious and perfectionist nature which oftentimes make writing burdensome than enjoyable for me.

3.    I’ve started my own life trap therapy. This matches my goal of sustained self-discovery and self-improvement even at 50. I have been reading the book “Reinventing Your Life: How to Break Free From Negative Life Patterns” by Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko since the past weekend.  Using Young’s questionnaire, I realized that I have  life traps (a negatively controlling set of beliefs), a self-destructive pattern or schema which I repeatedly confront and which robs me of the happiness and fulfillment I could have had in my relationships, work and life in general.

These two leading American psychologists described (and suggested solutions) to eleven life traps. I recognized two major life traps operating in me, both dealing with self-expression or the ability to express what one wants and get one’s true needs met.  The first is called the subjugation life trap wherein one sacrifices one’s own needs and desires to please others and to satisfy others’ needs such that one’s needs are never met.   My other life trap is called the unrelenting standards life trap which is typical of people who set rigid standards and have very high expectations of themselves at the expense of happiness, health and even relationships.

So far, I’ve also read that life traps originate in childhood and reverberates through our lives.  And because of this, parents have to be extra careful about the kind of parenting style they use on their children since these determine how children later on think, feel, act and relate to others. My life taps were probably linked to my being a first-born child who experienced being overprotected, one who had to obey and conform to my parents’ rules as a role model for my siblings (including making it to the top in school), one who had to always give-in as the eldest child and who had to please others always, one who had to help and be around when problem situations arise.

I am glad that life traps can be addressed successfully if we desire to.  And, I have just taken my first step towards liberation from my life traps – identifying and recognizing these traps.  With the baby steps I took today, just as our country proclaimed its first independence from colonial bondage on 12 June, 110 years ago – I am certain that I am now on the road to freedom from home clutter, writer’s block and life traps.

Ateneo Art Awards theme designed by my son, Aaron Roselo

Tears of happiness welled in my eyes when Aaron told me today that he won an Ateneo 2008 Awards for the Arts in the Graphic Arts category. I blushed with joy as I read the award announcement and the invitation to parents for the awarding ceremony and reception dinner 12 March 2008 at the Ateneo Escaler Hall. I wanted to photocopy the announcement letter and invitation but Aaron won let me; he quipped “magyayabang ka na naman” (you’d brag again). The most that I could do was to call my mom and then all of my siblings who were all as ecstatic as I was – Aaron being the first grandchild and first niece of all. By his looks, I knew he detested what I did and found me corny. I had to savor this rare moment since it’s been a long, long, long time since I felt this way: fulfilled, blessed, and in bliss.

Aaron’s award serves as a green “go” sign for me that I have to continue walking with my head up for despite my failed plans, lack of material possessions and present challenges — I have Aaron: a priceless gift, a precious gem, my light from God.

To Aaron, a KISS (keep it short and simple) blog from your one and only mommy. I love you.

Please visit his site at http://aaronroselo.net

When I started working and visited ASEAN countries, my “I Love You” data bank expanded. I got a phom rak khun card from Bangkok, memorized the Malay saya sayangmu from a popular Malaysian song, learned to say saya cinta padamu from an Indonesian peer and received a wa ai ni keychain from an old Singaporean friend.

When I married, I had to shelve these expressions since loving gestures, concrete actions, and shared time with the family spoke more than these novel phrases from faraway places.

Today, with a few clicks on the internet, young lovers can find over a hundred ways of saying “I love you”. Here’s a list.

Do you know of other “I Love You” expressions? Let me know so I can add to this list.

Which “I Love You” is most meaningful and memorable to you? Remember?

This evening, I got another surprise. As the Chinese began their Year of the Rat, my Aaron got his cat. My daughter Aleli (an ex supposed-to-be Vet) brought home a tiny two-week old white cat for her brother.

Aleli brought home a kitten!

As I saw the cute and cuddly kitten, I initially felt anxious. It came too soon. Where will it stay? Will my kids have the time and the patience to care for it, to feed it, to keep it safe? Won’t it cause us allergy attacks? Will it be an added work load for me? I had to quell my worries and think positively. Didn’t I even bought birds, hamsters, rats and fishes for Aaron and Aleli when they were in grade school? So, why these qualms about having a new pet, now that they’re older? Then, I remembered my mom always making sure that we had our own pets when we were young since she believed that our pets would serve as our shields against sickness and misfortunes and that they would also be our guinea pigs for early experiences in caring, being responsible, and being loyal to friends.

After a few moments, I found myself holding the kitten in my hand. I patted its fury body as if rubbing a magic lamp. I wished that Gyunyo (meaning “milk” in Japanese) becomes not just another novel toy for Aaron (and Aleli, too) but a white cherub who can teach them bits of lessons on life and love in a fun, experiential and authentic way, at their own time.

As for me, I’d look forward to a time when Gyunyo can help calm and relax my stressful days as trained therapy cats now do for the old, the sick and the lonely.

This is “Gyunyu”, at 2 months. Photo taken by my daughter, Aleli

Forty  years ago, around this time, when my youngest sister Arlene was about 4 years old –  she had very high fever, stomach pains and vomiting, felt generally ill,  and experienced pain in her legs which caused her to limp.  After lab tests, our doctor-uncle confirmed polio (infantile paralysis) and asked that my other sister and I get out of contact with Arlene for the next 2 weeks  to prevent contamination.  Though we resisted being sent to our paternal grandmother temporarily as we were never accustomed to sleeping in other’s home, we were forced by circumstances and we had to obey our parents.

As we left home, my mom reminded us to pray for  Arlene to  get well soon so that we could go back home.  We were not told that she had polio though. While all by herself at home, Arlene found a new playmate  – a 6-inch porcelain statue of the Infant Jesus of Prague which was in our home’s altar.  She talked with the statue as if it were alive.  And, mom heard her saying: “ sana pagalingin mo na ako agad para makapaglaro na ulit ako tulad ng ibang bata” (I hope you can make me well so that I can play as the other children do, very soon). 

On February 2, 1967, God gave us a miracle – Arlene walked without her limp to the surprise of her doctor.  She underwent a series of medical tests and was found absolutely cleared of the virus.  We were called back home and only then did we learn about her polio case and miraculous recovery.   With her childish simplicity in asking for healing, and full trust and confidence in her Godly playmate, her prayers were answered.  God must have destined Arlene to be up and about (not limping with a disability) to be everyone’s kind, loving and benevolent godmother – sharing as much as she has with her loved ones and also  with her lowly workers, lonely friends, the sick, the needy and even tribes from far-flung Palawan  (who are just beginning to know Christ).  While she has not been blessed with a child of her own, she has a lot of children receiving her care, understanding and benevolence – as a true godmother creates magic and makes everyday miracles happen by being around when she is needed most.

I didn’t’ just remember Arlene’s story and the miracle of the Divine child to another child when I heard the homily about the feast of the Sto. Nino this morning,   As a mom trying to do all, please all, and be all  – I have also been reminded to regress, to relearn,  and to be as a child again.  I have to practice surrendering all things to God’s will than endlessly plan and work to death to realize my life purpose and dreams.  I wish I could be a childlike mom.

To start 2008, let me share with you my turning 50 prayer last 9 November 2007, my same prayer today as another year begins anew.

Lord, thank you -

For your gift of life and love for the past 50 years;

For my beautiful and loving family who made my happy moments brighter, more meaningful, and more colorful and my tough times lighter, more bearable and hopeful;

For real friends you’ve strewn along my way who’ve been by my side come what may;

For the rewarding career I had with the government and the chance to do business on my own;

For enabling me to see the magnificence of your creation in our country and abroad;

For blessing me with good health, an unwavering faith and the strength to carry on – knowing that the best is yet to come in Your time.

Lord, forgive me for my failings and foibles and
Continue to give me the inspiration to move on, learn from my blunders and falls, re-purpose myself and start over.

(As I turn 50 and see life’s sunset and sunrise in a single frame)

Lord, help me -

Age positively, gracefully and meaningfully; and

Accept that the wrinkles, sags, white hairs and achy joints are not defects but reminders that I have struggled, survived, learned, grown and persisted in life through this day.

Help me surrender some plans and dreams which are not aligned to Your will;

Help me be more creative as I use my experience and talents in touching others lives, courageous as I face new challenges and compassionate as I try to understand others beyond their spoken words.

Let me live for meaning, for a higher purpose beyond money, status and others’ applause as I thrive through life’s surprises and adversities with the softness and strength which only You can give me in my journey towards being the Alice you meant me to be. Amen.

I hope that the Lord grants me my prayer requests and that this first blog entry for 2008 paves my way in writing more meaningful mom blogs to share with you soon.

May you and your loved ones be blessed with faith that makes all things possible, hope that makes all things work, and love which makes all things beautiful — today and through the coming days of 2008!

In the midst of UP students (though I pass as one of them because of my petite frame), I felt OP (out of place) waiting for the naked Alpha Phi Omega men’s final bow at the Palma steps since most students apparently just came to see the spectacle as if waiting for: a movie star or a band singer to perform live or for a stripper to titillate one’s sexual desires or for some biology specimen to view, size-up and draw conclusions from. I was waiting to find meaning in this annual UP tradition for the past 30 years.

It was around quarter past twelve when nude, masked men came out of Palma Hall with balloons, flowers and streamers that called for the ouster of President Arroyo, justice for UP students Karen and She and the grant of tuition subsidies for UP students. I wonder why the students covered their heads and wore masks. As these men raised their streamers of dissent, I was expecting to hear shouts of student protests and criticisms and calls for action as I have experience during my student days in some mass rallies. But, I only heard whistles, then “boos” and then hollers (for not seeing much, for the very brief skin exposure time). I do not find photos worth sharing here a lot can be viewed at YouTube if you wish.

I was frustrated at what I saw, heard and experienced such that soon after, I felt thirsty, hungry, exhausted and sunburned. The more I felt OP. I felt old as well, realizing that I do not belong to this generation anymore.

Just like thousands of UP Alumni, I still value the Oblation as the main symbol of what the University of the Philippines stands for, fights for and delivers to the nation; the chosen rallying point for protests and social action; the enduring model of academic freedom, an inspiration for service and nationalism; my lifetime link to UP.

However, the 2007 Oblation Run I witnessed was just a show of bold and daring, nude men with flowers, balloons and streamers – not far from commercial TV identification plugs or intermissions to a long play. I did not see their bravery in standing up for their causes; they were speed walking, almost running, ashamed of their nakedness.

Perhaps, (I hope) the UP students I expected to see In the oblation run were just busy attending their classes, researching in the library, hearing mass or simply taking lunch. Perhaps, I have just been too engrossed with my class reading on Philippine education during the revolutionary times that I have been searching as Rizal when he said:

Where are the youth who will consecrate their golden hours, their illusions and their enthusiasm to the welfare of their native land? … who will generously pour out their blood to wash away so much shame, so much crime, so much abomination? … Pure and spotless … who will embody in yourselves the vigor of life that has left our veins, the purity of ideas that has contaminated in our brains, the fire of enthusiasm that has been quenched in our hearts? …

Perhaps, I am just a mom who expects so much. How about you, do you still see the relevance of this tradition as it was meant to be during its inception years back? Isn’t it time to rethink and plan for a more meaningful oblation befitting of the times?

]]> http://amomandmore.com/personal/up-oblation-run-2007-%e2%80%93-from-the-eyes-of-a-mom/feed/ http://amomandmore.com/education/trillanes-media-arrests-curfew-in-manila-and-andres-bonifacio/ http://amomandmore.com/education/trillanes-media-arrests-curfew-in-manila-and-andres-bonifacio/#comments Thu, 29 Nov 2007 02:20:10 +0000 A Mom and More current eventsEducation http://amomandmore.com/education/trillanes-media-arrests-curfew-in-manila-and-andres-bonifacio/

This afternoon, I planned to do my research on the Philippine educational system during the revolutionary times, 1896 to 1899, for a group presentation next week.  But, instead of researching, I was drawn to watch on TV — the live telecast of the encampment

 of Senator Trillanes, General Lim and comrades at the Manila Peninsula Hotel after they walked out of the Makati Regional Trial Court earlier. After several sessions with Prof. Buhay Alonzo in a course on Philippine Educational System, I’ve been conditioned to watch out for learning opportunities from day-to-day experiences, from personal interactions, and from various media.

Though I am never really interested about developments in the political field, I watched this afternoon’s telecast hoping to learn something worthwhile.  I entertained the notion that perhaps I’d see a glimpse of a modern day Andres Bonifacio, a  contemporary Philippine revolution of sorts.

But here’s what I witnessed on TV:

1.      Trillanes:  an idealistic youngish military man and senator who may want reforms but has limited experience, poor tactics, limited knowledge and followers to stand by him.  

2.      Media arrests: obviously a violation of press freedom, a shameful picture to show to the world about the kind of democracy that the Philippines practices.

3.      Curfew declaration: an uncalled for move by the government; another unconstitutional curtailment of people’s rights.

Was this rebellion planned to coincide with tomorrow’s National  Heroes (Bonifacio Day) Day commemoration — for impact?

Yes, it has been over a hundred years ago when Andres Bonifacio, a poor  and uneducated man, the “Father of the Philippine Revolution”, led the Filipinos’ fight for freedom and justice and won it, ending over three-and-a-half centuries of Spanish domination.  Today, it seems another people’s revolution needs to be staged again to check our society’s ills and bring us on the road to progress. 

A passage from Bonifacio’s essay on “What the Filipinos Should Know,” (translated from his work in Tagalog) written during the Philippine Revolutionary times  could serve as a food for thought, nudge for us to think about what we could do for our country:

Reason tells us that we cannot expect anything but more sufferings, more treachery, more insults, and more slavery. Reason tells us not to fritter away time for the promised prosperity that will never come….Reason teaches us to rely on ourselves and not to depend on others for our living. Reason tells us to be united…that we may have the strength to combat the evils in our country.

Tonight, I may have lagged behind my research target but at least I’ve seen in real time how a present day Pinoy revolution starts and ends; I’ve learned how and why it fails; I’ve seen Philippine history unfold.   I felt frustrated about the waste of time, resources and people’s efforts which I have seen.  I felt irked at the government’s reactions to the incident – everything was overkill.  I felt cynical about seeing the Philippines rise from its current economic challenges soon.  (Enough of emoting, it’s time to end this post and go back to my research.

As our country experiences a crisis, can we pinpoint from among our Filipino personalities aspiring to be modern leaders – someone who can be as brave, strong and true to the cause of the Filipino masses as Bonifacio who had none of these prerequisites for most politicians nowadays: a prominent family heritage, well-funded bank accounts, viable businesses, education in foreign universities, media endorsements, and a network of influential people?

Are we back to Bonifacio’s revolutionary times, but with a different enemy to conquer? Can we expect a new Katipunan in the making? Who is our Bonifacio this time? What can we  do , as moms, to be revolutionaries of our own time, in our own homes, for the country?

It made me feel young once more as a child by the Christmas tree: awed by the size of the gift box and eager to know what could be inside it for me. When I opened the box, I was amazed that it contained not just one but 50 individual gifts – each one significant because each brought with it either a golden message of care and concern, affirmation, food for thought, laughter or extra joy to last beyond my birthday. Most gifts were useful but ordinary items – made extraordinary on my 50^th because each red gift has been sought and thought of painstakingly by my siblings and the kids for this special day. Here are the red, red gifts I got and the messages tagged on them, which everyone present took turns to hand over to me with a kiss.

1. Hugo perfume – for everlasting aroma
2. hat – “panlaban sa lamig” (to relieve the cold)
3. bag – You complete me
4. sunglasses – to keep you cool in the sun!
5. hanky – to wipe away tears and “kulangot”
6. scarf – accessorize more
7. jewelry – for more sparkle to your beauty
8. wallet – to keep safe all your life’s wealth
9. umbrella – to keep you cool and flawless
10. shirt – forever looking 16!
11. belt – to tighten your bond with family and friends
12. panty – for the truly beautiful inside and outside
13. pedometer – to help you lose fat and keep you young all the way
14. socks – to cover your tired-out travel-lust feet
15. comb – to further enhance your natural beauty
16. keychain – to keep things within easy reach
17. ball – to remind you that it’s fun being forever young
18. alarm clock – to help you wake up to a new happy day
19. pillbox – for Alice’s “sakits” (illnesses)
20. towel – to freshen you up after the day’s work
21. stapler – to keep things always in place
22. paper clips – to hold on to your upbringings
23. tape measure – to measure your “panindas” (merchandise) and waistline
24. tape – to keep all your things tight and bonded
25. bag tag – to let everyone know who you are
26. magnet – for your magnetic personality
27. ballpen – to bring luck to your ambitious to-do lists
28. paint and crayons –to color our lives and your world with vibrance, as you like it
29. notebook – to scribble your utmost reflections with
30. folder – to compile your thoughts with, enclosing what matters most
31. thumbtacks – to tack things in place
32. paper – to write your precious ideas and memories on
33. clip file – to take your work with you everywhere
34. pillow – for sweet dreams
35. photo frame – to display memories you cherish the most
36. ribbon – for stylish decorations
37. flashlight and candle – to lighten up those dark, gloomy days
38. thread – to help you weave wonderful thoughts with
39. toothpaste and toothbrush – for that pretty Close-up smile
40. padlock – to keep safe
41. soap – to remind you of maintaining a clean heart and mind
42. lip balm – for more kissable lips
43. nail polish – for your fiery red professional nails
44. mirror – to show the world who you really are
45. eyemask – for more beauty
46. red glass – half empty, half full; plate – “para sa mahilig kumain” (for the food lover); spoon and fork – “dahil hindi ka marunong magkamay” (since you don’t know how to eat without utensils)
47. mug – to keep your teas and talks warm and cozy
48. hanger – to keep your special clothes special slippers – for that nice, comfy feeling
49. slippers – for that nice, comfy feeling
50. trash bin – to keep your surroundings neat and clean

When gift giving was over, I saw a tag which said: “rosary – to hold on to the faith that will save you”. I didn’t find any rosary attached to the tag. My youngest sister Arlene even helped look for it. I believed it (the rosary) was meant to be lost, to be invisible, and to be apart from all the physical gifts I got. And, this reminded me to be truly grateful for the real blessings and blessings in disguises I have received over the past 50 years: love, hope and joy; time, care and concern of family and friends; and failures turned into life lessons and stepping stones – the essentials which are invisible to the eye.

To my loving family: Ariel, Aaron and Aleli, my mom Adorita; my siblings Annie, Arlene and Arthur and their spouses Gigi, Abe and Maripol; my niece Kashka and nephews Lean, Nigo, Luigi and Driggs ; and to true friends and their families who remembered: Fr. Emy, Jun, Edna, Erwin, Romy, Lily, Agie and classmates at UP – my heartfelt thanks for the love, the prayers, encouragement and trust that I would continue glowing beyond 50. I love you all!

I try my best (but choose tiny notes cards to limit the words I have to think of and scribble).

But, most don’t write anymore — with too much hustle and bustle in our daily lives leaving us less time at our disposal, our multi-roles as mom, wife, career/business woman, sister, aunt, friend, neighbor and student; the advent of the internet and e-greetings; the convenience of a cellphone text or a call; and the availability of Hallmark cards to choose from to convey our sentiments (which we just have to sign).

And so, I felt very nice, warm and loved when I got my mommy’s personally handwritten birthday note today which said:

My dearest Alice,

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

Sometimes … we wish we were young, wish we were somewhere, wish we had that something. But sometimes … we wish too much that we miss to enjoy who we are and what we have. Stay happy … The secret to happiness is to embrace and appreciate everything that happens in our life. Take life easy and count your blessing. We all LOVE YOU! That is permanent.

Love, Mommy

This note from mommy will always be a special keepsake of this milestone birthday, a reminder and inspiration that as she is, at 75, I could still make an impact, a difference — by being a loving mom.

]]> http://amomandmore.com/family/handwritten-50th-birthday-note-from-my-mom/feed/ http://amomandmore.com/personal/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-3-games/ http://amomandmore.com/personal/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-3-games/#comments Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:35:00 +0000 A Mom and More beginning lifefamilyfamily gatheringsmidlifeturning 50 http://amomandmore.com/personal/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-3-games/ Tonight, it’s my turn.

For most of our parties, I handled reception and guests, games and party activities (since my family and I have long realized that I have not been blessed with culinary talents). Tonight, I am relieved as Arthur (my youngest brother) substitutes for me as the party clown-mascot. Tonight, I celebrated a passage to the next half century by “retrogressing” — enjoying playtime as I rarely did in childhood (since I spent time studying to get good grades and be a model eldest sister to my siblings). It was a chance to get physical, rough and spontaneous; to have fun, and to laugh out loud. Why not? Even my 75-year old mom joined the games.

]]> http://amomandmore.com/personal/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-3-games/feed/ http://amomandmore.com/uncategorized/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-1/ http://amomandmore.com/uncategorized/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-1/#comments Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:09:40 +0000 A Mom and More beginning lifebirthday greetingsfamilyfamily gatheringsmidlifeturning 50 http://amomandmore.com/uncategorized/turning-50-in-one-red-land-differently-part-1/ Today, 9 November 2007, I turned 50.

Unlike my past milestone birthdays at 18, 30, and 40 when I wished for, planned minute details and held big parties attended by relatives from different sides and friends from school, work and business – months back, I told my siblings that I will just have a quiet, budget-friendly, and simple 50^th birthday celebration, exclusively for our closest family members, in keeping with tough times. I am glad about this decision for several reasons:

1. I had less stress in choosing a party theme and planning for details about the venue, decors, physical arrangements; menu and food preparation; invitations, (who to assign as) photographer, give-aways and activities;
2. I had no pressure in making a guest list and ensuring that I did not leave anyone out while considering how each guest could have a jovial evening in the company of a diverse gathering of people;
3. I felt at peace with myself after hearing mass alone and attending my first day of classes in school without any worry about how I would look in my birthday dress; what accessories to wear and how I could conceal with make-up the haggard look on my face (as I check on party minutiae for a perfect birthday and miss out on much needed rest and sleep);
4. My meager cash remained untouched at the end of the day – I even got my age matched with cash gifts and tokens;
5. My family had fun, memorable and meaningful bonding moments focused on me (without feeling obliged to entertain guests as they did during my past birthdays).

A mom in wonderland, a mom in one red land

My two kids (Aon and Aei), my siblings (Annie, Arlene and Arthur), my mom and the rest of the family pooled their time, effort, resources and (yes) acting talents to produce a truly once-in-a-lifetime 50^th birthday celebration for me. My mom told me not to prepare anything since my siblings agreed to treat me to dinner in a Korean restaurant in Makati when all family members shall have arrived from school and work. I wondered why Korean (since I prefer Chinese and Japanese) and why that restaurant (it was in Makati and was a hassle to reach on a Friday because of the traffic along the way).

I also wondered why Ariel (my husband) stalled our trip to Makati till after 7 p.m. although he was back home from work unusually early. He told me that my mom, my siblings and their children would meet at my sister Annie’s home and carpool to Makati to save gas. Upon reaching Annie’s home, my hunch (about a secret party) was reinforced when my brother-in-law opened their home’s gate for Ariel to bring in the car; this is the first time Ariel brought the car inside since it was easier for him to park by the roadside.

I noticed Annie’s home and garden dark and seemingly uninhabited as a meeting place; it is usually well-lit and welcoming for our family events. As I stepped out of the car and walked towards her house, I heard the piano play “Happy Birthday” as my family members one by one left their hiding places to welcome and greet me while my daughter Aleli and my niece Kashka showered me with rose petals.

When the lights went on, I looked around and saw everyone in red (my favorite color), all tables and corners filled with red rose arrangements and a big banner (done by Aaron) flashing the words: Alice @ 50 – still growing, still glowing.

These photos capture the love, the warmth and the passion of my 50^th birthday in my one red (wonder) land.

Inspired by the familial love I felt all around me and in thanksgiving for God’s gift of a half-century of life on earth, I prayed before our usual graces:

Lord, thank you -

For your gift of life and love for the past 50 years;

For my beautiful and loving family who made my happy moments brighter, more meaningful, and more colorful and my tough times lighter, more bearable and hopeful;

For real friends you’ve strewn along my way who’ve been by my side come what may;

For the rewarding career I had with the government and the chance to do business on my own;

For enabling me to see the magnificence of your creation in our country and abroad;

For blessing me with good health, an unwavering faith and the strength to carry on – knowing that the best is yet to come in Your time.

Lord, forgive me for my failings and foibles and

Continue to give me the inspiration to move on, learn from my blunders and falls, re-purpose myself and start over.

As I turn 50 and see life’s sunset and sunrise in a single frame,

Lord, help me -

Age positively, gracefully and meaningfully; and

Accept that the wrinkles, sags, white hairs and achy joints are not defects but reminders that I have struggled, survived, learned, grown and persisted in life through this day.

Help me surrender some plans and dreams which are not aligned to Your will;

Help me be more creative as I use my experience and talents in touching others lives, courageous as I face new challenges and compassionate as I try to understand others beyond their spoken words.

Let me live for meaning, for a higher purpose beyond money, status and others’ applause as I thrive through life’s surprises and adversities with the softness and strength which only You can give me in my journey towards being the Alice you meant me to be, Amen.

Oftentimes, when a close relative or friend passes away unexpectedly, we feel sad and regret not having expressed our feelings for them by saying “I love you”, “I am sorry” or “Thank you”; for not having spent more time with them; forgetting to call, visit or send greetings on special occasions; refusing to help even with their simple requests; and not giving them flowers while they could still appreciate and smell them. Time is too short and we never really know when death would come to us or to our loved ones. Rather than feel sorry, it would be a good habit to practice loving and caring enough for our family and friends NOW, not tomorrow or on a forthcoming occasion or when we have more time because it may never happen: we may not make it on time.

The following poem “One Little Rose” from an anonymous writer serves as a reminder about giving love and the best we can to our loved ones, now.

I would rather have one little rose
From the garden of a friend,
Than to have the choicest flowers
When my stay on earth must end.

I would rather have one pleasant word
In kindness said to me,
Than flattery when the heart is still
And life has ceased to be.

I would rather have a loving smile
From friends I know are true,
Than tears shed round my casket
When this world I’ve bid adieu.

Bring me all your flowers today
Whether pink, or white, or red;
I’d rather have one blossom now
Than a truckload when I’m dead!

When my father-in-law died, I felt that his relatives and friends liked and loved him since many sent big, beautiful and expensive floral stands to the funeral home. I am very sure that he never received flowers in his lifetime which he would have appreciated more and I am guilty I never thought of giving him any then.

Of what use to the dead would flowers be when he/she can no longer see their beauty and smell their sweetness? I would rather receive flowers, praises and love while I am alive.