Have you ever had a callus - the thickened, toughened, hardened area of skin, oftentimes in hands and feet, formed by repeated pressure and friction? Some people develop calluses on their fingers when they play string instruments; others on their feet when dancing bare foot; some on their thumbs for too much video gaming and writers on their middle finger when they use a pen (instead of a PC).
I experienced calluses during my working girl days: wearing high-heeled shoes 8-5, partying with a new pair of stilettos, or shopping with narrow-toed, tight, and ill-fitting shoes on.
My daughter Aei developed a callus under her left toe two months ago from wearing boots and walking (or running) to and from her classes in different UP Diliman campus buildings.
It was thick and hard so I asked her to put on plaster to ease the pain; thus, she was able to wear all of her boots again. Of course, she followed typical callus remedies she saw on the net like: wearing thick socks for cushioning, filing the callus with a pumice stone after bath and applying moisturizers to soften the skin.
A month ago, her callus developed a hole in the middle; no pain. She persisted in wearing boots. Towards the end of the sem, she showed her callus again and I advised her to see the doctor. But, she decided to finish her extracurricular tasks first (JAM magazine articles, her blogs, T-shirt design contests, school reunions and sem-enders and more) which she targeted after finals such that squeezing-in a doctor’s schedule became an ordeal for me. I gave her the option to ask me to go with her to the doctor whenever she’d have time. Our doctor’s visit didn’t push through till this early Sunday morning when she came teary-eyed, showing me her inflamed callus which was tender to touch. She requested: I want to go to the doctor now. No general surgeon was on duty as we expected; so the whole Sunday, Aei was filled with anxiety, especially since she feared that she had diabetes: a self-diagnosis she got from her web search, a cry we dismissed since she eats health foods, just had a normal blood chem and exercises a lot.
Aei learns
When the surgeon saw her toe today, he confirmed that Aei had an infected callus. It had thickened and cracked, appeared like a carbuncle and was inflamed. The surgeon prescribed co-amoxiclav antibiotics and diclofenac sodium and asked us to be back for SURGERY after two days. The procedure: a scraping of the callus until all dead skin layers have been removed.
Through this experience, Aei learned:
- to give priority to health and medical issues at the onset and to consult the doctor when symptoms of any illness arise; and
- that prevention is still better than cure, i.e. buy and wear more comfortable shoes (those with good padding and ample space in the toe area) and have a pedicure or foot spa to help keep calluses to a minimum aside from wearing more comfortable though less stylish shoes, using pads and cushions as needed and applying lotions to soften the skin and prevent callus build-up.
Mom learns
What a timely coincidence, when we reached home and I opened some unread mails, I got struck as I read the following quote from a newsletter from Guy Finley, author of the best-selling book, The Secret of Letting Go :
“Happiness can’t grow here: The heart watered by tears born of self-pity slowly hardens and turns to stone.”
As a mom, a wife and a lot more, I am bombarded by pressures everyday as I struggle and try to meet my roles, everyone’s needs and expectations. I get heart aches for never living up to my husband’s unique standards on food, clothes, parenting, home, career and money as he complains about everything I do (perhaps, it’s andropause?). I get frustrated when I ask my kids to help me with my blogging and they shrug me off since I learn slowly or they’re just too busy with school stuff or I am asked to learn through online tutorial. I am disappointed when I show my concern for them by asking how their day was, if they already ate, took their medicines or have an umbrella — and they say I am nagging again. I sometimes desperately yearn for a friend who can have time, just listen and be with me as when I had a career and business in my younger years. I feel occasionally anxious about going to a new journey like Alice in Wonderland.
I have accumulated burnout, depression, anger, anxiety into my system – just like the layers of toughened skin on Aei’s callus. I pity myself at times. Perhaps, if I didn’t believe in a God who wants me to be happy but who sends in challenges to mold me to be better someday, I would have already been a cold, hard, callused person after all my stresses.
From Aei’s callus, I learned that it’s time I also scrape off and let go some of my self-defeating emotions (my calluses starting to harden up) and bring out the real me again — for I never want to be a stone.